T. Michael Martin

I write YA thrillers, including THE END GAMES (''Brilliant, fun, blisteringly intelligent fiction. I can't recommend this one highly enough.'' - John Green), and make HOW TO ADULT and vlogs.


Insane #iPhone 6 line outside #Indianapolis Best Buy.

#iphone6 #iphone6plus #lol #indy

Asker neala-ernswa Asks:
Mike, Why is it that whenever I spend the night with a guy he always insists on sleeping between me and door? like are men more afraid of fires then women and they just wanna be closer to the exit or what? Is it an airflow thing? I don't understand.
tmichaelmartin tmichaelmartin Said:


Well, obviously I cannot speak for the whole of the male species, but as I read this, I was reminded of when my wife and I were first married.

We’d just moved into our first apartment, and there had been some (very minor) crime in the area — specifically, non-violent apartment break-ins and thefts. I’ve always felt very very protective of, and to a certain degree responsible for, my wife’s physical safety. I don’t think there’s anything sexist in this, by the way, at least not in a negative sense: I am just physically a lot stronger than her, and also I know how to box/fight/whatever. Anyway, all of this to say I insisted on sleeping between her and the door, and in keep a large baseball bat-y weapon in the room. I certainly didn’t relish the thought of a physical confrontation (“Hi-ho, I am The Man! Witness my masculinity being portrayed by my aggression!”), but I think our arrangement set us both a bit more at ease, and helped us sleep better during those early, stressful, unemployed days.

Each guy’s reasons are probably different, but FWIW, those were mine. Thanks for the Ask!

- Mike


New video, in which the charming and wonderfully helpful Liam Dryden teaches you how to find an apartment/flat!

Liam did /such/ a fantastic job with this. We heart his video and hope to have him back again in the future. 

Older lady is not amused by Disney World.

(Also, I am back from vacation. It was wonderful! Hi.)

#Hyperlapse of the carousel at Downtown #Disney. (Sarah says it looks like a UFO.)

Why I love #Disney and #Epcot.

Harry, our #Lyft driver to the airport, was fantastic and hilarious. This is his impression of Jack Nicholson’s Joker.


Just like one time I want to be on an airplane and pretend to be falling asleep and then just bolt up in my seat and yell, “KEVIN!”


Hello there, Lovely People of Tumblr!

I (Mike) am writing y’all this quick note to let you know that our Tumblr may be a bit quieter than normal over the next couple weeks, as I’m going on vacation until the 15th. I’ve set up a bunch of things in our Queue to post while I’m gone, but I won’t be answering any Asks (which is normally one of my favorite things to do) until I get back.

See ya soooooonnnnn!

- Mike